


Touch Faith

by voxangelus



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Dealing With Trauma, Dom!Eggsy, Eggsy Unwin is a Little Shit, Eventual HEA, Harry Hart is a Little Shit, M/M, merlin is a pain slut, sub!Harry, sub!Merlin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-17
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2020-01-15 12:32:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 16,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18499054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/voxangelus/pseuds/voxangelus
Summary: Eggsy Unwin is a Dom. Yeah, he's kind of inexperienced, but he's keen - but he knows he's not worthy of anything Harry and Merlin have to offer. At least, not yet. No matter what his fantasies are.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [InsaneRedDragon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/InsaneRedDragon/gifts).



Look, there was a whole fucking lot to be said for saving the world, and supposedly a lot of rewards to reap because of it, but damned if all Eggsy wanted to do was sleep for about ten goddamn years. But there was so fucking much to do. People to be saved. Celebrities and heads of state to be shuttled home. Reports to be written. Jesus Christ, the fucking reports. Merlin was a goddamn sadist when it came to that shit and Eggsy knew sadists ‘cos he _fuckin’ was one_. 

And nah, he hadn’t needed to bum a princess in the chaos, but since she was offering and all it seemed pretty rude to refuse when he didn’t have any good reason to and he hadn’t gotten a leg over in close to a year, and she was well fit and up for it just for fun, no obligation for rescuing her or anything. He’d made sure of that. 

He had no idea about the fuckin’ work the aftermath of saving the world was gonna be and frankly, the hour he’d snatched with Tilde in the bunker was serving as a stark reminder that all work and no play makes Eggsy a dull fuckin’ boy. 

Didn’t matter. 

Well, no, it did; but there was nothing to be done. There was always more work to do no matter how much he just wanted to see if the club he used to go to was still open so he could go work off his stress with a whip or paddle, or if there were any parties happening where he could do the same. Or even if there was a higher-calibre club he could get membership to now. Probably could, with his suits and Kingsman paycheck and fancy accent he affected. Best he got was sparring in the gym or going a few rounds with a punching bag. 

He was lucky if he got 24 hours R&R between missions, much less anything more. It’d have been worse if Merlin and Roxy and everyone else weren’t in the fuckin’ trenches right along with him. But they were, and commiseration abounded. Half the time he ended up crashing right at HQ in one of the rooms there. Harry’s will had been read and his house was Eggsy’s now, but he couldn’t bring himself to spend much time there, not yet. Sometimes he crashed with Roxy at her flat. Or if he wasn’t too banged up, with his mum and sis in the row house he’d got them. 

It was still better than living in the estates with Dean up his arse all the time. At least he weren’t being sent on sketchy errands or having his sleep interrupted by drunk rages and shouting. 

Three months post V-Day, he was sprawled on the roof of a swank hotel in Manhattan, sniper rifle aimed and ready to take out some organized crime boss when the Harry had turned up in fucking Kentucky, suave as you please apparently, calling in international collect from a petrol station payphone on the coded line as though he’d just been out for a stroll or some shit. Merlin’s reaction was nothing short of spectacular. Must have been some Scots Gaelic curses in there, ‘cos Eggsy didn’t understand but three words of the tirade. And the only reason Eggsy heard any of it was Merlin was on the line with him handling his mission when Harry called. A full minute of Merlin cussing someone out and the line went dead after Merlin told him to take the shot. At the time, he had no idea what had happened, so he took the shot cos’ that was his job an’ all. 

Merlin came back on the line as Eggsy was packing the rifle up and clearing all traces from the rooftop, telling him, “get yer arse tae th’ airport, because Harry’s alive. As the closest agent, yer flying into Louisville International as soon as we get clearance tae take off.”

Not so much as a ‘good job, Mordred’ or a ‘sorry tae interrupt the 36 hours of downtime I promised yeh, Eggsy’, but Eggsy understood, yeah? It was Harry. He wasn’t dead, because for some reason he’d survived being shot in the fucking face, _what_ the fuck. And Eggsy’d process that shit later, maybe next year when he finally got that downtime. All there was to do was straighten his tie and made his way to street level to meet his car. He was beyond fucking curious to find out just how Harry had survived. 

The flight to Louisville felt longer than the trip across the Atlantic usually did. Merlin updated him once he landed with an address; a posh hotel in the city. Eggsy wasn’t quite sure he was prepared for this - scratch that, he fuckin _knew_ he wasn’t - but it didn't matter. As the closest agent, it was his job to retrieve their recovered asset and see if he was compromised. It hurt him to think of Harry like that, as an asset to be tested, but he knew it was necessary. Who knew what had happened to him in the last three months? Eggsy put a change of clothes just in case into a messenger bag and got into the car that was waiting outside the plane. 

He managed to keep himself occupied during the drive by texting Roxy with the gossip and promising to keep her in the loop while she was on stakeout in Turkey. The hotel was the sort of fancy that three years ago he’d have got booted from the lobby, but nobody even spared him a glance as he strode across to the bank of elevators in his suit. 

He rapped on the door of the suite Merlin had directed him to, his other hand resting on the grip of his gun, just in case. Eggsy was pretty sure he was in shock and adrenaline was the only thing driving him at the moment. The door opened and there stood Harry. Handsome as ever, even with the eyepatch. 

“Eggsy. My dear, dear boy,” Harry said, stepping aside so Eggsy could enter. 

“Seriously, Haz... _what_ the actual fuck,” Eggsy said, voicing his earlier thought, as he went into the room and closed the door behind him. 

“That’s an excellent question,” Harry said in acknowledgement, leading Eggsy into the sitting room of the suite. “But first, I must apologize for how I spoke to you last. It was inexcusable.” 

Eggsy shook his head, reaching for Harry, gratified when Harry allowed the probably too-tight hug. “No, Harry,” he protested, letting go and looking up at him, ”I deserved some of it. I don’t know how much Merlin has filled you in on-” 

“-Next to nothing,” Harry interjected, “He told me you’d be coming to retrieve me and that he was happy I was alive. Amongst all the swearing, of course.” 

“Alright. Well, I ain’t sure how much I really can tell you, in case you’re compromised or some shite, but Arthur was with Valentine. He tried to poison me. Got the better of ‘im, though. Poisoned himself in the end, the fuckin’ twat.” 

Harry scowled. “I thought he was just a snob. I was wrong. I was wrong about a great many things, it seems. I hope you can forgive me.” 

“Harry... we can talk about it later, yeah?” Eggsy assured him. “I’m mostly interested in how you survived an’ why it took so long for you to contact us. I ain’t never heard Merlin swear like that, an’ in Gaelic to boot.”

“I was just released from hospital this morning. I had a spot of retrograde amnesia after everything that happened, and it took awhile for my memory to return. Long story short, Valentine was a terrible shot and my glasses took the brunt of the damage. My phone was smashed, no mean feat considering it was one of our fortified models. I’ve had all, or most, of my memories for about two weeks. They released me yesterday, deeming me well enough to be able to leave. Not sure they believed I had someone I could call, but my cover’s identification and wallet full of cards convinced them I’d at least not be high and dry.”

“Fuck, Harry. I watched everything, ya know? From your laptop in your office. If we’d had any idea at all you were alive, we’d have come looking sooner,” Eggsy said, feeling miserable. 

“Oh, Eggsy. I know you would have. Merlin would have. I’m so sorry. I knew Merlin would have been watching but you should never have had to see me like that, out of control like I was in the church.” Harry asked, sitting on one end of the suite’s sofa. “We’ll talk about that later, I promise - but tell me what you’ve been up to for the past three months?” 

Eggsy snorted. “Putting out fires, mostly. Hold on, Haz, Merlin’s yammering in my ear.” He stepped out into the corridor for a moment. “What, Merls?”

_“Mordred. You cannot give him any more than the basics!”_

“Jesus, Merlin. It ain’t like I’m gonna-”

_“He might be compromised. The story checks out so far, but I’m going over the hospital records and details now, so you’ll have to sit tight for a bit.”_

“Yeah, I’m well fuckin’ aware! Ya trained me, do ya really think I’m that stupid?”

_“No, lad. I think you’re doing better than I would. Just a reminder. Give him general information - we’ll say anything you could tell your mum, that level of clearance, aye?”_

“Yeah, Merlin. Got it. Loud and clear. Can I stop being rude to Harry now?”

_“It doesn’t bother him to be ignored for work. But yes, go back. Call if you need me, I’m putting you on background monitoring.”_

“Cheers, thanks.” he tapped the side of his glasses to close the connection and returned to the room, sitting down next to Harry on the sofa with a sigh. “Sorry about that. Apparently you don’t mind bein’ ignored for work, according to Merlin, but I still think it’s dead rude.” 

Harry made a strangled sort of sound, and Eggsy could see his cheeks redden. Interesting.

“Anyway, I can tell you anything I’m clear to tell my mum,” He went on. “We’re down a few bodies, either they got hit by the V-Day violence or they was with Arthur. Me an’ Rox an’ everybody else have been goin’ nonstop since everything happened. With you back, though, things are lookin’ up. Hopefully Merlin’s done investigatin’ soon, I bet you’re ready to head home.” 

“I have been wearing a hospital gown or shapeless blue scrubs for the last three months,” Harry said, nodding. “I’ve been in worse situations and recovered, but an American hospital is not the Kingsman medical wing. I am beyond ready for the familiar comforts of home.” 

“Speaking of the familiar comforts of home - and don’t think we ain’t gonna talk about your will, because again, Haz, _what_ the fuck - I ain’t changed nothin’ in your house, really. Ain’t touched the money, either - don’t need it. Just been adding my own Sun covers to the office wall and sleeping in the guest room once in a while. I ain’t been home enough to bother redecorating or rearranging, so it’s just like you left it. I’ll start on findin’ me my own place once we get back.” 

“I suppose that does answer the question of whether I would be turned out on the streets, destitute - but you don’t need to be in any hurry.” Harry quipped. “Merlin hasn’t been staying there?” 

Eggsy shook his head. “Between you and me, I don’t think he’s left HQ since we got back after V-Day. Why? Did I steal his room? That’s awful, he shoulda said somethin!’” 

“Er, no. You didn’t steal his room. He would have slept in the master bedroom?” Harry offered. 

They were together. Of course they fuckin’ were, because this was Eggsy’s life and it wasn’t like he expected anything to come of his two enormous bloody crushes, did he, but hearing the reality of it was enough to stop his train of thought for a minute. 

“Oh. OHH. Why the hell did you leave _me_ damn near everythin’ in your will, then?! And Merlin, letting me natter on to him about how much I missed you an’ how you probably died hating me? Fuck. I am never going to be able to make that up to him,” Eggsy groaned, hanging his head with his hands over his face, embarrassed. 

“Eggsy, you couldn’t have known. He isn’t going to hold it against you and he had ample time to say something himself. He must have had his reasons,” Harry assured him, patting his shoulder. “Likely as not, he may not have wanted to burden you with his grief.” 

“That’s even worse, then,” Eggsy said with a sigh. “Why would he do that?” 

“Because he’s a masochist?” Harry offered. “Other than that, I’ve no idea. He may have thought he was being noble. You could just ask him, I’m sure he’s monitoring through the glasses.” 

“Merlin? A masochist? Have you seen his fuckin’ paperwork manual? It’s sadistic as fuck,” Eggsy protested. 

Harry shrugged. “Work is work,” he replied. 

_”I’d be less sadistic about paperwork if you fecking agents would turn it in on time and legibly, not covered with tea-stains and jam smudges.”_ Merlin interjected. 

Eggsy rolled his eyes. “Apparently all agents are terrible at paperwork and slobs besides,” he said to Harry. He wasn’t that bad, was he? He made sure things were turned in on time even if his penmanship left something to be desired. 

“You spill a bit of milky tea and misjudge how jammy a jammie dodger is once and hear about it forever,” Harry said in a tone of fond exasperation. “Most of the rules in the paperwork manual are in reference to things I’ve done. Well, James - the previous Lancelot - too.” 

“Oh, i am definitely gonna wanna hear those stories. But I just came off a mission and I’d really like a shower and some food first. Doesn’t hafta be in that order. Does this hotel have room service, or are we gonna have to go out?” 

Harry reached for the leather folio on the coffee table that had all the hotel’s amenities listed and flipped through it. “I would imagine so, a hotel of this calibre usually does, even in the States. Ah yes. 24-hour room service, or there is a steakhouse on the garden level, should you like to go out.” 

“If they can send up a steak dinner I’d rather not go out, but even a burger would be alright,” Eggsy replied, leaning over to look at the menu with Harry. 

“The least I can do is find you a steak dinner; I’d planned on taking you out for a very good one when I returned from Kentucky as an apology for how I acted,” Harry replied, flipping to the room service menu. “Ah yes, they will deliver it, will all the trimmings you could ever hope for. Go, shower. I’ll take care of ordering - after all, you worked today and i’ve been sitting around for the last three months.” 

Harry offering to take care of dinner only served to remind Eggsy of the very formal breakfast they’d shared during the 24 hours they’d spent together before the dog test. He’d been half in-love with Harry before that, but the way he’d served the meal, patiently explained what every fork was for, and waited on him had only made his stupid fuckin crush even worse. And inappropriate or not, the sight of Harry in that apron had only fuelled his high protocol service fantasies. 

Didn’t matter now, of course. Harry and Merlin were together, could even be married or civil partnered or whatever for all Eggsy knew, he wasn’t going to try to bust up anybody’s relationship for his own selfish ends. And it weren’t like they was going to be polyam. Or the least bit submissive - even if Merlin was a masochist that didn’t mean shit for other dynamics even if the two often went together. Eggsy took a deep breath. He was getting way the fuck ahead of himself here. 

“Yeah, okay. Thanks, Harry. I appreciate it,” he said with a genuine smile, grabbing the bag he’d come in with and heading off to the bathroom. 

_Yer heart rate’s elevated, Mordred. Everything all right?”_

“Yeah, Merlin,” He said, rolling his eyes at Harry as he shut the door. “‘M fine. Gettin’ in the shower now.” 

_”I expect we’ll be finished with looking over everything from Harry’s time in hospital by morning if not before. I don’t think you’re in any danger with him, but would you like me to book you another room, to be on the safe side?’_

“Nah. If you trust ‘im, that’s good enough for me. I can kip on the sofa or somethin’, I ain’t picky,” Eggsy replied as he loosened his tie and slipped his jacket from his shoulders. “But I’ll ask Haz what he’d rather when I’m done in here and let ya know.” 

_”Fair enough. I doubt he’ll mind if you sleep on the sofa, though. Would you... would you mind terribly giving your glasses to him while you shower? I know it’s unorthodox, but I’d like to speak to him for a moment.”_

Eggsy looked in the mirror and nodded, smiling. “Yeah. Not a problem. Surprised ya didn’t ask sooner, ta be honest.” He opened the door back up and leaned out. “Haz, Merls wants to talk to ya while I’m in the shower. Here ya go.” He held the glasses out, and Harry came over to take them. 

“Eggsy. _Thank you._ ” Harry said, giving his shoulder a squeeze before putting the glasses on, a smile breaking across his face. 

He looked so happy, so joyful at hearing Merlin’s voice. Eggsy closed the door with a sigh, leaning against it for a moment. Yeah. That was all just gonna have to stay a fantasy. He had no business goin’ anywhere near what they had.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing Eggsy wants is to be a third wheel, and he's doing his best to convince himself that that's all he'd ever be, even as a friend - he'd just be in the way.

If Eggsy took a little longer in the shower than he might usually, well, he wanted to give Harry and Merlin enough time to talk. And start the process of getting over himself and his stupid crushes. He stood under the spray for a good half-hour, refusing to let his thoughts wander to what they might be talking about - that way lay madness - as he got himself clean and then just enjoyed the water pressure. Maybe he’d have to get himself one of these ridiculously fancy shower setups when he got his own place - because there was no way he was going to stay at Harry’s much longer. He doubted they would want him around while they were reuniting and dealing with everything from the past few months. 

By the time he finished up, dressed in Kingman-issue jimjams and slippers, their dinner had been delivered and his glasses were sat on the coffee table in front of the sofa. If Harry’s eyes were a little red-rimmed, well, Eggsy would be a gentleman and not mention it. He doubted he’d be in any better shape if it were him.

Harry was standing by the dining table, fussing with the plates and flatware as the hotel staff set them down. Trust him to not let the staff do their jobs to his satisfaction. The waiter left, taking his cart with him. 

“Perfect timing, Eggsy. They’ve just delivered everything. I had them bring both lager and wine, as I’m not sure of your preferences,” he said, indicating the bottles on the table, still sealed. “I realize Merlin is still checking all the details from the hospital, and I completely understand that protocol - so I’ll leave it to you to open the bottles.” 

How was this man so perfect? Well, no. Not perfect. But for all of his peacock ways, his showing off - the fact that he understood the Kingsman protocols for this situation and was willingly complying was near enough for Eggsy to declare them unnecessary. That, however, was not his job. It was Merlin-as-acting-Arthur’s job. And thus, he would adhere to them. He put his glasses back on and went over to the table where Harry was waiting. 

“Cheers, Haz. I want the lager, but I’m guessing you’d rather the wine. We might as well each have what we like, yeah?” 

“Very considerate of you, Eggsy,” Harry replied. “Sit down, let’s not let everything get cold.” 

Eggsy sat. He opened the wine first, pouring a glass for Harry before he opened his own lager. His steak looked amazing and tasted even better. 

_”Nice tae see he’s still as fussy as ever post-mission, even if it wasn’t his,”_ Merlin commented over the comms. 

Eggsy snorted, setting his fork down. “Oi, Haz. Merlin’s calling ya fussy now. I just wanna say that I don’t agree at all. It’s nice to have someone else take care of all the little stuff so’s I can relax, ya know? Definitely don’t get that often. Usually it’s whatever the kitchen’ll send up at HQ, takeaway, or a cheese toastie or somethin’ easy I can make on autopilot.”

Harry sighed in resignation. “I’d protest against being called fussy, but there’s no real way I can deny it,” he lamented. “Really, you have nobody at home to look after you? A handsome lad like you?” 

Blushing, Eggsy looked down at his plate. “Nah. Thought there might be something with a real pretty girl, but she was out of my league and we were both too busy after everything happened. Sometimes Roxy and I will have a primary-school style sleepover if we’re both in HQ at the same time, complete with junk food and awful movies. Tried to get Merlin to join us once, but he said he didn’t have any hair to braid so he wasn’t gonna bother. You got hair, though. Maybe we should invite you instead.” 

“Only if we’re doing mani-pedis,” Harry said, holding one hand out in front of him. “My hands are in a dreadful state.”

_”You cheeky little... I’ll get you back for this, Eggsy”._

Eggsy completely ignored Merlin and went on eating his dinner. They were sitting there, finishing off the last of their drinks when Eggsy recalled he needed to ask about sleeping arrangements. “Harry, Merlin needs to know if he needs to book me another room. Do ya mind if I sleep on the sofa here?” 

“No need, the suite has two bedrooms.” Harry offered. “I did think if anyone came to rescue me it wouldn't be a quick trip. Better to prepare for all contingencies. I believe the door locks, and I won’t be offended if you lock it. You probably should, just to properly adhere to protocol.” 

_”He’s right, Mordred.”_

The use of his codename indicated that that was an order, not a suggestion. 

_”However, I don’t think you’re in any real danger. I should have all of this cleared by breakfast, so get a good night’s rest and with any luck, you’ll both be headed home tomorrow afternoon.”_

“Yes, Merlin,” Eggsy replied. “May I pass that information on?”

“ _”Aye. Contact us if you need anything, but I’m passing monitoring off to Yvaine and going to get a quick nap.”_

“Cheers, Merlin. G’night.” Eggsy looked over at Harry with a smile. “Merlin thinks they’ll have it all cleared by breakfast time here. Bet that’s music to your ears.” 

Harry sighed, leaning back in his chair, almost empty wineglass dangling from his fingers. “Immensely. Undoubtedly. Several other positive superlatives, do feel free to fill in the blanks. I believe the wine has gone to my head a bit.” 

Giggling, Eggsy looked at the level of wine in the bottle. “I’m guessing three months in hospital has done fuck-all for your tolerance, bruv. That was only two glasses. Maybe you should head to bed, yeah? Get a good night’s rest without all the poking and prodding from the nurses. Do you have meds you should take?” 

“Just one for the migraines,” Harry replied, starting to get up.

“Nah, stay there. I’ll grab it. This one here, on the side table?” 

“Yes, thank you.” 

Eggsy shook a dose out of the bottle and brought it to him, pouring a glass of water from the pitcher on the table. “Here. Think you’ll be able to make it to bed, or d’you wanna lean on me?” 

“I’m only mildly tipsy, you little shit,” Harry said, mock-affronted, but took the pills and water, swallowing them before getting up and proving that he was perfectly capable of walking across the suite to his room. “I’ll see you in the morning, Eggsy.” 

“See ya in the morning, Harry,” Eggsy replied. He tidied up from dinner and put the room service cart outside in the corridor, hanging the do-not-disturb placard just in case housekeeping came by really early, then went to his own room, locking himself in. Tired from the mission he’d been on and the emotional shock of them finding Harry alive, he wanted to go straight to bed - but he recalled he owed Roxy an update or two. 

[To Roxalot] Sooooo. Like I said earlier, Haz is alive. Seen him with my own two eyes altho he’s only got one now. It’s ridic. Merlin’s checking shit from hospital cameras and files to make sure he’s not compromised or w/e.

[To EggMuffin] Holy SHIT   
[To EggMuffin] U get over ur crush yet? 

[To Roxalot] Fuck off. But no. It’s just as bad as ever. Ur the worst, btw

 

He didn’t think Harry and Merlin were common knowledge, so he didn’t pass that info on. 

 

[To EggMuffin] u love me tho

[To Roxalot] I do even tho u don’t deserve it and ur mean

[To EggMuffin] pizza and movies when we both get back?

[To Roxalot] And vodka. But ur buying

[To EggMuffin] We’ll see. Love u. Going back to bed

He plugged the phone in to charge and curled up in bed. It hadn’t hadn’t even gone 10pm local time, but his day had started almost twenty-four hours before, and he was exhausted in every way it was possible for him to be exhausted in. It didn’t take long for him to fall asleep, and if his pillow soaked up a few tears as he was drifting off, no-one would be the wiser by the morning. 

 

When he got up around 4 to pee, the LED in his glasses was blinking on the bedside table. A message from Merlin an hour before giving the all-clear and that they were good to return as soon as Eggsy managed to get Harry moving in the morning. 

He didn't think it would take much prodding. 

 

He was wrong. Eggsy was up, showered, dressed, and waiting on breakfast by 6:30. 

By 8, he’d finished eating.

By 9, he was bored of what the Americans called ‘news channels’ and had turned to playing games on his phone. 

At 9:30, Harry finally emerged from his bedroom, bleary-eyed and wrapped in one of the hotel bathrobes. “Coffee?” he asked, peering at Eggsy. 

“It might still be hot? I ate around seven. There’s pastries, though,” he said, setting his phone down. 

“No, don’t get up. I can pour myself coffee and manage a croissant on my own,” Harry said, waving him off. “Tired of not doing anything myself.” 

“Yeah, alright. I guess if you wanna be poky about it I won’t call our pilot and tell him we’re ready to go,” Eggsy replied, nonchalant. 

Harry managed to get his coffee poured and the carafe set down before he really registered what Eggsy had said. “Everything’s been cleared?” 

Grinning, Eggsy nodded. “Had a message from Merlin at about 3am. As soon as you’re ready, we can go. I’ll call the pilot and have them be on standby for, say, noon? That’ll give us time to check out and get to the airport.” 

“Noon seems reasonable, it’s not as though I have anything to pack. I plan to burn these togs,” he said with distaste, holding the baggy grey sweatsuit away from his body. “They’re only marginally more comfortable than the hospital gowns and full of... polyester. And belonged to someone else before me. At least my shoes survived without much issue.” He picked up the carafe again and filled Eggsy’s cup that was sitting on the table still, adding cream and sugar. He handed it to Eggsy as he passed him to sit on the other end of the sofa, a croissant balanced atop his own cup. 

Eggsy took the coffee, amused at how Harry just poured it and handed it over without him even having to ask. It was like a practiced task. “Harry, you’ve seen me drink coffee once. How in hell do ya remember how I like it?”

“I’d have to have completely lost my memory to rid myself of the sight of you dumping eight sugar cubes into your coffee,” Harry scoffed. “Although hotel coffee usually needs some disguising, it was a travesty that you would do that to the very nice Mandheling I served you that morning.”

Eggsy laughed, quiet, looking down into his cup. “Ah, I offended yer posh sensibilities. Never really had a chance to have real good coffee before, Haz. Next time, I’ll try it without so much sugar. If there is a next time, I mean. Don’t mean ta invite myself over.” 

The scathing look Harry gave him at that pronouncement was almost enough to curdle the cream in the coffee. “I left you my house, Eggsy. Why on earth would you think you would be anything but welcome whenever you like?” 

“I... I dunno. You’re gonna want some time to yourself with Merlin and all,” Eggsy said, rubbing the back of his neck. “And you’re not dead, so you’re gonna need the house back. Ain’t like a will’s legally binding if the person ain’t dead. Merlin owes me three days of downtime after this, gonna use it to look through the catalogue of properties, find myself my own place.” 

“Eggsy, I don’t expect you to give the house back, it’s yours,” Harry protested. 

He looked back at Harry, unable to do anything but nod tightly. He didn’t feel like he deserved the house. Or the money. Any of it. It shoulda gone to Merlin and God only knew why Harry had changed his will at what must have been the last minute before leaving for Kentucky. “Talk it over with Merlin, yeah? I guess you musta done that already, but just make sure for me, alright?”

_”Eggsy, I owe yeh an apology. A lot of them”_

He ignored Merlin’s soft voice in his ear, shaking his head slightly. 

“Of course. Now, you said something about a plane? And getting the hell out of this godforsaken country?” 

_”Pilot will be on standby from 11:30, Mordred. Bring Galahad back to the fold.”_

“Merlin says the pilot will be ready when we are, so go do what you need to do and we’ll, as you said, get the hell out of this godforsaken country.

 

They were in the air by noon, heading back to the UK. Back home. Eggsy let Harry be for most of the flight and worked on his mission report for both the assassination and the retrieval so that when they landed, he could just be done for a few days, go to his rooms at HQ and curse his stupid rotten luck so he could start getting over something he never really had in the first place.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy and Harry return to Kingsman HQ, Roxy may never invite Merlin to another slumber party, and Percival provides both Bloody Marys and valuable insight.

“I must admit,” Harry said, drawing Eggsy’s attention from his paperwork, “I’m a little nervous about returning.”

“I can understand that, Haz - but I really don’t think you got anything ta worry about. Everybody’s gonna be happy ta see ya.” 

“Yes, but with my eye... I don’t think I’ll be going back to the field anytime soon, if at all,” Harry said, sounding defeated. 

“Maybe not, but I don’t think Merlin wants to be Arthur forever. Probably gonna try to foist that nonsense off on ya if you’ll go for it. I think you’d be really good at it, for what it’s worth. But I also get that ya might miss fieldwork. I’ve seen your records and your stats. You were phenomenal. Maybe Merls can make ya a really cool bionic eye,” Eggsy mused, closing the laptop as the fasten seatbelt light came on. “Looks like we’re gonna land soon. I get that you’re a little worried, but I don’t think there’s anything to worry about.” He smiled at Harry as he slipped the laptop into his bag.

“When did you become so wise, Eggsy?” 

“I had really good examples. Somebody told me that true nobility is being superior to your former self, and I’ve been doin my best to live that the last few months, ya know?” 

Harry was looking at him with something like... admiration? Nah. Couldn’t be. He was tryin’ to be a gentleman and sometimes he succeeded, but he didn’t have a patch on Harry. He fastened his seatbelt to prepare for their descent, giving Harry a wink as he did so. 

“I’m not sure I’m the best example for you, Eggsy, but I appreciate you taking my advice to heart,” Harry murmured. 

 

Their landing was smooth and without incident, and Eggsy meant to hang back, get his things together, let Harry exit the plane first. He knew without a doubt that Merlin would be there waiting, and they deserved at least a little bit of a reunion without him standing there like an awkward third wheel. 

Turned out, it didn’t matter, since Merlin was rushing up the stairs as soon as the door was opened and Harry rushed into his arms just as quick. Eggsy kept his eyes averted as he got his bag, only looking up when Merlin spoke, Harry still in his arms. 

“Mordred. Congratulations on the successful completion of two missions. Take 72 hours of downtime. Get some rest. There’s nothing going on right this minute that can’t wait.” 

He didn’t think he was going to get effusive thanks or nothin’ from Merlin - that just wasn’t his way - but it did sting to be just fuckin’ dismissed even though he was, on some level, expecting it. He understood. If his person returned from the dead, he wouldn’t want to be around anyone else for a few days, either. He’d thought him and Merlin was getting to be good friends, but maybe he’d just been a placeholder for Harry. That stung more than anything. Distance... yeah. Distance would be great right now. 

“Yes, sir. I’ll have my mission reports uploaded as soon as I get settled into my room upstairs,” he replied, then went on, not giving either of them a chance to get a word in edgewise, “have a pleasant evening, Merlin, Galahad.” Maybe that wasn’t too gentlemanly. He knew he felt like a damn coward for doing it; but it was that or have emotions all over the two of them, so a quick exit it was. 

He slipped by them and down the stairs, heading straight for the elevator to the upper levels of HQ and his assigned suite. He had a date with the bathtub. And bitching with Roxy via FaceTime, if she was free. But first, the mission reports. He sat down at the desk, reading them over a final time for errors and misspellings. Finding none, he sent them off to Merlin. Might be the fastest he ever got post-mission paperwork done with. Now he had approximately 71.5 hours to do fuck-all. 

He stripped out of his suit and laid it aside for cleaning, tossing his shirt, pants, and socks into the laundry hamper. The bed looked real inviting at the moment, but he felt clammy from the flight and knew he’d sleep better if he took a hot bath first. He started the water, sitting down on the edge with his phone. First, he texted his mum to let her know he was back in the country and he’d come see her and Daisy tomorrow or the next day, whatever was better for them. Then, Roxy. 

[to Roxalot] U free to actually talk? Wanna facetime?

[to EggMuffin] On the plane home. I do. This mission was shit

[to Roxalot] Gimme like, 5 min to get into the tub so I don’t flash ya

[to EggMuffin] yes, plz keep that to yourself thx

[to Roxalot] u should be so lucky

[to EggMuffin] plz continue to think me unfortunate

Eggsy snorted. He could always count on Roxy distract him a little from whatever was going on just as he did for her. But yeah, he never wanted to see her naked again. It would be like seeing his mum naked, and just... no. No thanks. She was too much like family for that. 

At least he had that, yeah? Even if he seemed destined to pine after Harry and Merlin for all eternity, he still had Rox, an she was the best friend a boy could have. Maybe he could get sent on a long-term surveillance mission next. Avoidance probably weren’t the answer, but Eggsy didn’t much fuckin’ care at the moment. He sighed, climbing into the tub. He let it fill a bit more, then turned off the taps. The hot water was soothing to mind and body, and he just let himself drift a bit until Roxy called. 

“Ya look like hell.” 

_”And good evening to you too, Eggsy. Thanks, you sure know how to make a girl feel good.”_

“Tough mission, then? I thought it was supposed ta be surveillance.”

_”Oh, it was. Until it wasn’t. I got ambushed by thugs leaving the safehouse for the bloody airfield. Not even related to the mission, just happened to look too much like a bougie white tourist lady and thus easy pickings. Several of them will be pissing blood for a week, so I figure I’ve done my job.”_

“That’s my girl. Well done, Rox. That explains the state of your hair and the bloodstain on your collar, then. And that bruise ya got on your cheek,” Eggsy said, peering at the phone as he grabbed an extra towel and used it as a neck pillow. “All I did was shoot a mob boss an’ bring Harry back home. And get dismissed like a fuckin’ servant when we got back, just told to fuck off for 72 hours.” 

_”Seriously? Not even a thank you? I know it’s your job, but Merlin’s usually not that brusque.”_

“Well, Harry’s back. If your best friend popped up not dead, you’d probably be pretty single-minded too, yeah? Still fuckin’ stung tho, I thought Merls and I were at least kinda-sorta gettin’ ta be friends.” 

_”I thought so, too. Hmf. See if I invite him to another slumber party ever again.”_

“Ha! I told Haz about that, and he said he’d come if we did mani-pedis. Sounds nice to me, but let’s go to some posh fuckin’ spa for them, not do our own.” 

_”Oh, absolutely. I know a place.”_

“Rox, I gotta tell ya somethin’ but ya can’t tell anybody else. Or that I told ya. I don’t know if it’s common knowledge. Harry and Merlin are, like, together-together. Like, you know that Harry left _me_ his house. Me. But him and Merlin might be fuckin’ married for all I know. He asked if Merlin had been staying at his place and I said I hoped I wasn’t taking the guest room away from him, but then Haz was like ‘no, he’d sleep in the master’. And like, fuck. It’s too much, Rox. Emotions are fuckin’ stupid and I don’t want them anymore. Here I been, like, whining to Merlin about how much I miss Harry and he just let me, like he’s not missin’ him a million times more. I’m glad he just sent me off without thanks, I don’t fuckin’ deserve them.”

_”Eggsy Unwin, don’t you_ dare _start with the self-recrimination. You had no way of knowing and it’s not your fault Merlin never mentioned anything of the sort! I’m sure he had his reasons and they’d better be really damned good or I’ll never forgive him, but it’s not your fault. At all. None of it is.”_

“Like, I logically know that, Rox. I know. Still feels shitty. It ain’t their fault I’m attracted to them both, though. Ugh. I’m exhausted. Ya gonna come crawl in with me when ya get in, or are ya gonna go home?”

_”I could do with a cuddle. I should land in about three hours.”_

“I’ll be dead to the world so just shove me over and poke me if I’m snoring.” 

_”You know I will. Brunch when we wake up?”_

“Heavy on the Bloodies, yeah?” 

_”Should invade Uncle Alistair for that. You know his are the best.”_

“Oh shit, maybe he’s got some fuckin’ insight on Merlin. And also, French toast.”

_”I’ll call him in the morning. Sleep, Eggsy. I’ll see you soon.”_

Yeah, he had the best of best friends ever. And he knew it. Eggsy dragged himself out of the tub a few minutes later and toweled off, getting into his jimjams. He plugged his phone in and it didn’t take long before he was out cold. He woke slightly when Roxy got in and pressed her icicle toes up to his calves as she cuddled up to him, back-to-back, but dozed back off without a problem. 

By the time he woke up, the sun was well up and he was alone in bed but could hear the shower running. He felt like he was being a complete baby, but it was nice ta have the company. And maybe Alistair - Percival - would have some ideas, but Eggsy was pretty much resigned to having shit be awkward as fuck for a while. 

That reminded him. He grabbed his phone and fired off an email to HR to make an appointment to look at other properties. He didn’t care if Harry had left him the mews house - he weren’t keeping it now, that was just fuckin absurd. 

“Uncle Alistair’s expecting us in ninety minutes for brunch, so get showered,” Roxy said, rubbing a towel through her still-wet hair as she sat on the edge of the bed. 

Eggsy scowled as he threw the covers back and got out of bed. “Didn’t leave me much time, did ya?” 

“You looked like you needed the sleep,” Roxy protested. “We need to leave in half an hour. We’re just going to his house, so it’s not like you need to be dressed for somewhere posh.”

“Says you, Miss ‘what-it’s-just-a-hacking-jacket-and-jeans-and-boots’ like yer off to the foxhunt or somethin,” he grumbled, “Alistair’s house is pretty posh, at least for someone like me.” 

“Eggsy, Uncle Alistair doesn’t give a shit what you wear,” Roxy replied, throwing the damp towel at him. “Go.” 

He lobbed the towel into the laundry hamper and went. She was right, of course. Alistair, like Roxy, mighta be proper posh, but he weren’t an arse about it. 

 

 

“I’m sorry, he _what_?” Alistair sputtered, and Eggsy was thankful the other man hadn’t just taken a drink. 

“Ya heard me. Just dismissed me all formal like I hadn’t just brought his husband back or nothin’. Maybe because I was still technically on duty? I dunno,” Eggsy replied, looking down into his frankly ridiculous drink. He still weren’t sure why there was an entire appetizer course as a garnish on a Bloody Mary every time Alistair made them. 

“Eggsy, I’m certain he’ll apologize to you sooner than later. Especially since he didn’t ever say a thing to you in the last few months about his relationship with Harry and let you just live at London’s largest butterfly mausoleum. I’m sure he’s feeling emotional and we all know how he likes to appear stoic and unflappable - it’s a defense mechanism kicking in. I can all but guarantee he does think of you as a good friend, and he’s probably feeling a lot of guilt for never mentioning any of this.” 

“It’s ain’t just a butterfly mausoleum. Fuckin’ stuffed dog, too,” Eggsy muttered. 

“I fucking hated Mr Pickle when he was alive. Rotten little ankle-biter,” Alistair replied. “But we’re getting off-subject. Eggsy, Merlin does like you - for that matter, Roxy, he likes you as well. He’s constantly singing both your praises for being unstinting and uncomplaining about the sheer bloody volume of work we’ve all had to do in the last few months. Give him a few days. Now eat your French toast, before it gets too cold.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy gets an invite to Merlin's for dinner. 
> 
> But first, there are other things to do.

Roxy, damn her, had been right. He did feel a lot better after brunch. Didn’t mean he still wasn’t stung from how Merlin had dismissed him, but it was more like a paper cut than the gaping wound it’d felt the night before. Still was gonna look for a new place ta live, though. Alistair hadn’t been kidding when he said Harry’s house was London’s largest butterfly mausoleum. He’d kinda got used to it - well, a bit - but he’d still rather do his own decorating that didn’t involve dead bugs. 

Or dead dogs. Eggsy much preferred live dogs. 

J.B., in all his wiggly pug liveliness, had been living with Eggsy’s mum and sister and was spoiled to the point of complete fuckin’ ridiculousness by Daisy. Worked out well, Eggsy could still see him whenever he liked an’ he weren’t bein’ neglected or left in the estate kennels all the time. 

He parted ways with Roxy after brunch to walk over to his mum’s, as it were only a few blocks from her uncle’s place. Eggsy still found it hard to believe he’d been able to stash his girls somewhere this nice and safe, a proper terraced house with a postage-stamp sized back garden and lovely neighbours each side. Bein’ able to see his little sis thrive and his mum regain the lively spark he vaguely remembered from his early childhood was worth anything he’d gone through and then some. 

Just had to make sure to keep that in mind, didn’t he? 

Yeah, he deserved ta be happy, too; ‘course he did, and he knew that. Didn’t mean he couldn’t be pleased as punch about what he could do for his girls. Daisy was already enrolled in the same nursery school most of the Kingsman sprogs went to, just waitin’ for September. His mum were headed back to nursing school then, too. 

And really, even if Merlin never spoke to him again outside of what was required for work, him making sure Dean got arrested and would spend the rest of his life locked up had done more for Eggsy and his family than anybody or anything else ever had. 

He spent the afternoon and helped cook dinner and stayed ta eat it. Then he shoo’ed his mum out the door for a little time to herself while he took care of Daisy. He probably read more stories than was strictly necessary, but he couldn’t help himself, could he?. She had so many books, more than he’d ever had at her age. Mum had put her foot down after he kept buyin’ toys and clothes; but she never objected to him bringin’ books or art supplies, so that’s what he did. Daisy had the beginnings of an epic library. 

After she was well asleep, Eggsy sprawled on the sofa with his tablet to do a little research on what kind of D/s clubs might be available to a young man with above-average means. He knew there was some high-end ones in London an’ ones that practised better vetting than the allsorts play parties he’d been to before Kingsman. There were a couple that looked promisin’, he thought, and bookmarked them. He’d look into them more tomorrow. He was watchin’ Newsnight when his mum got home, clear-eyed and full of cheer from winning the trivia down the local pub, which she couldn’t resist bragging about. It made him happy ta see her so proud of herself like that. 

“You stayin’, luv?” she asked, hanging up her coat. 

“Yeah, thought I might take my girls out for breakfast in the mornin’,” he replied, holding up the telly remote. “You want this, or should I turn it off?” 

She took the remote and sat next to him on the sofa, reaching over to curl her arm around his shoulders in an affectionate hug. “Breakfast sounds great. Thanks for telling me to get out for a bit, babe. I needed the break more than I thought.” 

Eggsy grinned, returning the hug and kissing her cheek. “Anytime, mum. This last trip was a doozy. Dunno what I can tell ya about it yet, but as soon as I get the okay, I’ll fill ya in. The planned bit went off okay, ya know, one less waste of space in the world. I’m gonna head ta bed. Glad ya had a good time tonight. Go get a pedicure or somethin with yer trivia winnings, yeah?” 

“Ain’t like I need ta buy Daisy anythin’, she’s already unreasonably spoiled,” Michelle retorted. “How many stories did ya read her?” 

“Sorry, mum. That’s classified information, like. Between me and the young lady,” he teased, getting up from the sofa. “Night, mum. Love ya.” 

“I love you too, Eggsy. Proud of ya. Know I didn’t tell ya enough when you was growin’ up. Wanna make sure ya know it now, yeah?” 

That clearly needed another hug.

 

Eggsy headed back to the shop after breakfast the next morning. He had an appointment at 11 to look at the properties catalogue. There was a few likely prospects; one in the same mews Alistair lived in. That’d put him close to mum and Dais, and there was nothin’ bad about that. There were another couple closer to the shop, too. He tried telling himself it was a just-in-case, but he couldn’t stay at Harry’s, as much as it broke him to admit. He really had to get over him an’ Merlin, and being around them constantly wasn’t gonna help him do that. At all. 

He was on his way out, keys in hand for the two properties he thought to be most likely, when he ran into Merlin on the stairs. 

“Eggsy. I’m fairly sure I gave yeh three days leave. You’re meant to be enjoying it, not haunting the shop.” 

“I am. Just stopped by ta see Nimue and look at the property catalogue.” He jingled the keys. “Gonna go look at a couple of places right now.” 

Eggsy had to admit that Merlin looked genuinely puzzled, looking at the keys as though he just had no idea what they was. “But Harry left yeh his place. You’ve been staying there some of the time, haven’t yeh?” 

“And he ain’t dead, so chances are he’s gonna want it back. And I still don’t understand why when he shoulda left it ta you,” Eggsy replied, doing his best to keep his tone and voice even. Fuck, but it were a struggle when he wanted to demand why Merlin just let him make a complete fuckin arse of himself for the last few months. “But that ain’t a conversation for here; ta be honest, none of what I wanna say is a conversation for here. If you’ll excuse me?” 

“Aye, as yeh will,” Merlin murmured, stepping to the side. “Come by my flat for dinner? Harry’s leaving in the morning to let his mam fuss over him for a few days. Thankfully my presence was not required. Violet is perfectly lovely - in small doses. Days on end, not so much. Plans this evening, but I’m free tomorrow. I owe yeh... several things, I’m sure - but an explanation is the least of them.” 

Merlin looked miserable as Eggsy felt. That shouldn’t make him feel better. Merlin usually had the best poker face he’d ever seen. At least Eggsy weren’t the only one suffering. And who knew how Harry was doing. Well enough to go see his mum, at least.

It was tempting as fuck to be petty, but not right now. Everything was well fucked. Harry’s return had upended things, and Eggsy would be happier the sooner it all got some kind of sorted out. “Let me know when, yeah? And the address.” 

“I’ll text it to yeh, aye. Enjoy yer day. Be sendin’ yeh back out the end of the week, but closer to home this time.” 

“Cheers to that, yeah? Not that I don’t enjoy seein’ the world and all, but it’s nice to stick close to home sometimes.” 

Merlin nodded, glancing down at his clipboard. “Things seem to be slowing down a wee bit. After the last few months, I’ll take what we can get.” 

Eggsy nodded tightly and continued down the stairs. He couldn’t help glancin’ back up when he reached the bottom, and the bereft look on Merlin’s face almost had him rushing back up the stairs. Merlin shouldn’t look like that, ever. If Roxy looked at him like that, he’d be burning and salting the earth to fix it - but Eggsy knew where he stood with Roxy and what they were to each other. Professionally, he knew where he stood with Merlin. Personally? Well, that were the question, weren’t it? 

Instead, he just walked out of the shop, getting into the car that was waiting to take him to see the two houses.   
Both were real nice, posh-like. Still wasn’t sure he’d be comfy in a place like that, but he could make whichever one his own. Leanin’ toward the one by Alistair, though. Plenty of room. He could even have a dedicated playroom. Nah, dungeon. He weren’t exactly the playroom type, but dungeon didn’t sound right either. Kinky Sex Room of Debauchery? Sadistic Space? 

Plenty of time to worry about that later. He had a little shopping to do. He’d decided on Intrigue, the club nearer the shop, for ease of getting back to the estate later. They was runnin’ a demo night, so there’d be plenty to see and nobody would be expecting a newbie to do much. His fingers itched from wanting to get them around a flogger or some such - unfortunately, he knew anybody but Merlin or Harry would just be a placeholder and he really needed to deal with that entire mess of feelings before even attempting anything but service topping. Throwing himself into something recklessly wouldn’t do him any good in the long run. 

[to Roxalot] TF do I even wanna wear to this club? 

[to EggMuffin] Wait, what club? Was I meant to come? I have a date

[to Roxalot] Do u really wanna come to a BDSM club? 

[to EggMuffin] Only if u need me to titcaptain* 

[to Roxalot] Just gettin the lay of the land, no titcaptaining required. Ur the best tho

[to EggMuffin] Good, didn’t want to cancel my date

[to Roxalot] god forbid.

[to EggMuffin] Dark jeans. Black tee. Ur Docs. Is it posh or no?  
[to EggMuffin] If posh, metallic eyeliner. If not, black eyeliner. Trust me. Make ur pretty eyes pop

[to Roxalot] U think I own eyeliner? Or know how to put it on? But yea, membership only, rules n regs, $$$. Posh or for people tryin hard to be 

[to EggMuffin] I think there are ten places within a km radius of the shop where u can buy it. From what I understand that doesn’t keep out all the shitty stuff but makes headway?

[to Roxalot] yea that’s what I’m gettin from my research

[to EggMuffin] if some wanker assumes ur a sub and tries shit plz film for me

[to Roxalot] yea that’s why I asked, they see this pretty face and think twinky sub which is why I’m like IDK about the eyeliner

[to EggMuffin] fair. Still think it’s ok tho with the boots. And ur swaggery cock-first walk

[to Roxalot]...  
[to Roxalot] Do I rly walk like that

[to EggMuffin] yea. If I were into u it’d be hot

[to Roxalot] having dinner at Merlin’s tomorrow

[to EggMuffin] ur just gonna drop that over txt? Call me. 

[to Roxalot] yes. No. u can wait to hear about it. Supposedly explanations to be had but we’ll see

[to EggMuffin] don’t love u at all rn 

[to Roxalot] have a good date :*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Titcaptain is the female-presenting-friendly form of wingman, coined by Cory O’Brien in Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, specifically in the story ‘Thor Gets Jacked’. I recommend the entire goddamn book, it’s all myths retold and it’s fucking hilarious


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eggsy checks out Intrigue. 
> 
> He just had to pick THIS club, didn't he?

Intrigue did online pre-vetting, something Eggsy were fuckin thankful he took advantage of, because the line for people who hadn’t done was really damn long. It was satisfying, in a way, to saunter past the well-heeled in the line and go right through the doors by giving his name. He was given a little magnet-backed badge for his shirt once he was all checked in. The symbol and colors on it weren’t explained, but he figured he could ask someone.

He’d been expecting dim lighting and some equipment once he got inside. And that it’d be clean.

He hadn’t been expecting the absolute decadence of the space. There was music, instrumental, a low, thudding bass line prominent in the arrangement. And yeah, dim lighting, but it weren’t sketchy. More like luxurious. The wallpaper alone was probably a king’s ransom. Tile and hardwood floors, with mats and carpets here and there, too. Good mix of people - not just young, thin, and pretty. There was ample, comfortable seating, and yeah, equipment, but it were all tailored to the space, the materials blending in with the deep aubergines and burgundies of the decor. The stage area was set up with a suspension frame and there were chairs clustered around it. 

Well, it were a far cry from the one club he’d been to before. And definitely more elevated than the play parties he’d gone to in the past. It surprised him how much he felt at home walking through the doors. He made his way to the bar, wanting to get a drink before the demo started. Suspension really weren’t anything he had experience in, but he’d done some tying before. Good to get some visuals, at least. 

“Good evening, sir. You’re new?” 

Eggsy smiled at the pretty bartender who had greeted him, a woman about his age. “Yeah, cheers. How did you know?” 

“It’s the badge - I’m not actually a mind reader. Welcome to Intrigue. I’m Caroline. I’m sure you read the rules and regs, but as a reminder, one drink per hour is our limit if you plan to play.” 

“I’m Eggsy. I did, and I’m just here to observe tonight. Rather be mostly sober for that, yeah? I’ll take a cider, whatever ya got on tap is just fine - and maybe you can tell me what exactly the badge means?” 

“One pint of Magner’s coming up, Eggsy! Oh, the badge? The symbol on top means you’re a Dominant, the B means you’re bi, the pink background means you’re new, and the white border means you’re previewing before deciding on membership. The suspension demo is set to start in about thirty minutes. You’ve plenty of time to take a walk around and see the setups,” Caroline replied, as she grabbed a glass and filled it for him, sliding it across the bar. “Or just sit right here, if people-watching is more your idea of fun. It’s a good view of the entrance.” 

“If I sit here, will ya have time to explain other badges?” Eggsy asked, “I don’t wanna keep ya from doing your job or anything.” 

Caroline smiled. “Ah, but that is part of my job, and not being an ass to newbies whether to the scene or just to the club is a big part of our culture here, too. But the badge system is pretty simple. Spades for dominants, diamonds for switches, hearts for subs, and clubs for undecided. Letter indicates sexual and or romantic orientation like it does in the LGBTQIA+ acronym. Pink’s for new folks, red for people who’ve shown up at least once per month for six months straight. White banding for vetted previews, grey for guests, black banding for members. The only thing you won’t be able to do tonight is book a private room, that’s a member privilege only.” 

“I’m not sure I’d call that simple, like, but it is easy enough to understand. Thanks. And I think I will sit here, I do like to people-watch,” Eggsy replied, taking a drink of his cider. 

“Sure thing. Yell if you’ve got any questions, okay? I’m happy to answer what I can,” she said with a wink, turning to the next person approaching the bar with the same friendly smile and demeanour. 

He had to credit the club with people like Caroline being their first line of service past the door people. She really was friendly and personable, happy to explain things to him as he sat and watched people trickle in before the demonstration. Plenty of couples of varied gender expression, more singles than he’d expected, which were really nice considering he was also there alone, and just as he was gettin’ to his feet with his half-drunk cider to meander over to the stage area, _Alistair?!_. Followed closely by _shit shit fucking shit_ , Harry and Merlin. No need to panic, yeah? They was all adults here, like. Nothing to worry about. 

Right? 

He thought he might have got away without them noticing him by trying to book it pretty fast to the stage to get a seat, but really, he shoulda known better. He were a fuckin spy and he worked with fuckin spies. He had no chance. 

“Eggsy! I really must say this is a lovely surprise to see you here,” Alistair said, clapping him on the shoulder, glancing down at his badge. “And that’s even more of a surprise. That you’re a Dom, I mean. Anyone with two eyes could tell you’re bi. I daresay anyone with even one could,” he went on, glancing over his shoulder at Harry. 

“With all due respect, Alistair, do fuck off,” Harry scoffed. 

All three of them had red backgrounds to their badges, with black banding. Members. He just had to pick _this _kink club, didn’t he? Alistair’s had a spade, no real surprise there as far as Eggsy was concerned, and he looked at Harry and Merlin’s, expecting to see the same, because that was his luck, right? They was obviously here to see the demo, maybe play with some of the house subs or somethin...__

__And only found hearts._ _

__Eggsy was pretty fuckin’ sure he completely blanked for a sec and the only thing keeping him upright was Alistair’s hand on his shoulder. Both Harry and Merlin was subs? Was Alistair their Dom? It’d make sense, with what Alistair had said about Merlin at brunch the other mornin’, like he knew him real well._ _

__“Uh. Yeah. Don’t really hide that part. Just another thing Roxy and I got in common, ya know?” He managed to reply, hoping his pause of shock hadn’t been too obvious._ _

__“True. She’s as vanilla as they come, though, bless her,” Alistair replied._ _

__“She offered to come with me and titcaptain. Wingman, I mean. But I told her I was just checkin’ things out, none of that needed,” Eggsy said. “She was willin’ to cancel her date and everything. Proper best mate, she is.”_ _

__“From the way you spoke about her in Lexington and on the flight home, I had rather thought there was more to it than that,” Harry interjected._ _

__Eggsy shook his head. “What Rox and I got is forged in fire, true, so I guess there is more to it than that. We’re family. She’s the slightly older sister I never had.”_ _

__“I tried to tell him that, Eggsy - but he insisted I was missing something,” Merlin said._ _

__“No worries, Merlin - do I still call ya that here an’ all?”_ _

__“Aye, yeh can call me that but most people here know me by my given name, Hamish.”_ _

__And that was more personal information than he’d ever got outta Merlin in the year he’d known him. Eggsy was honestly starting to wonder if he’d gotten injured on his last mission an’ this were some sorta weird, extended fever-dream._ _

__Alistair glanced at his watch. “Sorry to cut this short, Eggsy, but the demo is starting soon and, well, it can’t start without Hamish and I. Harry, why don’t you sit with Eggsy? I don’t really need your assistance for a suspension demo and I’m sure Eggsy would like the company of someone he knows.”_ _

__“You’re sure?” Harry asked, before Eggsy could sputter anything about what do you mean _the fuckin’ demo can’t start without you_. Harry didn’t seem upset about Alistair suggesting Harry sit with him, it was more like he was makin’ sure he wasn’t actually needed on stage. _ _

__“The rope is all ready to go. You certainly do a beautiful job of holding it for me, but I’ve tied Merlin up plenty of times in the past few months since we were all bereft of your presence due to circumstances beyond your control. I do think you’d be more useful with Eggsy - if he doesn’t mind, of course,” Alistair replied, turning to Eggsy at the last._ _

__Eggsy shook his head. He’d clearly fallen into bizarro world or somethin’. Might as well roll with it. “Nah, I don’t mind at all. Like ya said, be nice to have somebody I know to sit with. Not so awkward, even though everybody’s been real welcomin’ an’ nice so far. I’m happy ta have ya sit with me, Haz.”_ _

__“Sit in front, please, Eggsy? I’m used to being able to make eye contact with Harry during public things like this, if I need the grounding,” Merlin explained._ _

__Eggsy didn’t miss how he asked. Deferential. Not an order. Not that he expected any orders, weren’t like they was at work or on a mission. “Yeah, of course. Here, Harry. Show me where should we sit so Merlin can see ya easy.”_ _

__“Yes, of course,” Harry replied, leaning over to kiss Merlin, a quick and reassuring press of lips. “I’ll be right there when you’re done to look after you, never fear.”_ _

__“In this, I never do,” Merlin replied, nodding to Eggsy as he went off with Alistair._ _

__And that were somethin’, weren’t it? Harry had been missing for months, and Merlin still trusted he’d be right there when he needed him. It were the kind of thing that spoke of years of experience with each other, Eggsy knew. He hoped he could have that with somebody, someday, to be worthy of that kind of trust and love._ _

__Harry held his hand out for Eggsy’s and led him through the gathered crowd of people, straight to the front of the seating area. There was a low-backed chaise right in the middle that was still free. “Here would be ideal. Please, sit down. I’ll be back as soon as I find a cushion for my knees.”_ _

__What did he need a cushion for? There were plenty of room on the chaise for them both. And then Eggsy realized that Harry meant to kneel and the thought of that honestly made him a little light-headed. He were meant to be getting over his ridiculous crushes, not adding fuel to the fire. Fuck. It weren’t like Harry were kneeling _for_ him. Just by him. Ta keep him company. “You don’t gotta kneel if ya don’t wanna,” he protested, weakly. _ _

__“Oh, but I do want to,” Harry assured him. “It’s been far too long since I’ve been able to indulge myself, and I’m reasonably sure I’m safe with you. You don’t mind, do you?”_ _

__Mind? Did he _mind_? Fuck, no. Thought he might spontaneously combust from everything happening in the last ten minutes, yeah - but no, Eggsy sure as fuck didn’t mind. “No, of course not,” Eggsy assured him, sitting at the end of the chaise. It was cushy, but he’d expected nothing less. Harry was back a moment later, bearing a large cushion that he put down before kneeling, sitting back on his heels with his hands on his thighs, back straight. Absolutely perfect and fuckin’ gorgeous. _ _

__It took everything Eggsy had to not praise him. Harry weren’t his to praise._ _

__“It’s been close to a year since I’ve been here, what with the accident at the college and the incident on V-Day,” Harry said, looking over his shoulder at Eggsy. “Did Alistair tell you we’d be here?”_ _

__Eggsy shook his head. “Nah. Didn’t know any of ya was members. Or into this scene. Been meaning to check out some clubs like this - nice ones, not the seedy places I used ta go - but this is the first time I’ve had any real downtime since V-Day. I guess bringing back the long lost Harry Hart gets ya a few privileges.”_ _

__“It certainly should, even if it was just how scheduling worked out. Hamish has been telling me the immense amount of work you and Roxy have been doing since V-Day. It’s astonishing and you deserve every second of your downtime,” Harry replied with a smile. Looked a bit like he meant to go on, but the club lights dimmed and the lights over the stage area went up, so he turned back around._ _

__The overhead speakers crackled briefly and Eggsy recognized Caroline’s voice. “We have a real treat for you this evening, everyone. Master Alistair has deigned to grace us all with his presence for a suspension demo. I know, I’m as shocked as all of you, we haven’t seen him for six months, but he answered the call last week. He’s brought Hamish to fly - another lovely personage we haven’t seen for quite some time - so please do give them your undivided attention!”_ _

__Now that he had a moment to just take him in, Harry was dressed in what Eggsy would assume casual was for him, but still fully clothed - grey trousers, button down, a really soft looking cardigan. Alistair, when he stepped on stage, was dressed similar to Eggsy - dark denim, dark tee, heavy boots. Easy enough to move in. When Merlin followed, dressed in nothing but snug, expensive-looking boxer briefs and holy shit, a torso full of tattoos, Eggsy couldn’t really prevent the whimper of utter want that escaped his lips._ _

__Harry turned around, eyebrow raised, and grinned at him. “I know. He’s beautiful,” he said._ _

__“He... yeah, he sure is.”_ _

__Then Alistair told Merlin to present the rope and what followed was an hour of one of the most frustratingly arousing and voyeuristically intimate things Eggsy had ever witnessed. From the way Alistair caressed Merlin as he was tying the sinfully soft-looking deep green rope to the utterly transported look on Merlin’s face the more trussed up he got, Eggsy couldn’t help wishing it was him that Merlin trusted to make him fly. He thought he were fucked before with how he felt. It were nothing compared to now. And he knew that yeah, a great deal of it was lust and the state of his dick were a testament to that - but he wanted all of it. He wanted to whisper in his ear, listen to him beg, reassure him that he wouldn’t let him fall._ _

__But it looked like Merlin had a long history with Alistair. It were easy to see, from how well they worked together. Merlin anticipated each touch, leaning into it. And when he did make eye contact with Harry, the energy between them was goddamn near visible._ _

__When the demo was over, Harry took Merlin over to one of the quiet alcoves, curling up with him on the sofa. People were gathering around to talk to Alistair, but he caught Eggsy’s eye and beckoned him over with a tilt of his head. “Eggsy - come help me coil this rope back up, will you?” he called._ _

__Well, if he had to get up while he was half-hard, Eggsy supposed a D/s club were one place where he wouldn’t look like a creep._ _

__“What did you think?” Alistair asked. “Here, hold your arms out and I’ll use your hands as a bobbin.”_ _

__Eggsy did so. “It were beautiful, really. Can tell you an’ Merlin have done that before, for sure.”_ _

__“I’ve been topping for the two of them for a long time,” Alistair replied, as he wound the rope. It really were as soft as Eggsy had thought._ _

__“Just toppin’? So they ain’t your subs?” Eggsy blurted, before he could think better of it, knowing he were blushing and sounded like an eager schoolboy._ _

__Alistair laughed, shaking his head. “No, Eggsy. I just don’t think they’ve ever found the right person who could deal with them both long-term. Merlin likes bondage and pain - Harry is the finest high-protocol service sub I’ve ever had the privilege to meet._ _

__“You wear your heart on your sleeve to those of us who are skilled in realizing such things. I couldn’t let you suffer with wondering,” he explained, as he tied off the rope and slid it off Eggsy’s hands. “But just the same, and don’t take this personally, as it’s not a criticism in the least - I don’t think you’re quite right for them. Yet, that is. I think you could be, given time, patience, and maybe some mentoring.”_ _

__“Nah, I don’t take it personally. I know I don’t deserve either of ‘em. But it’s good to know ya think I got potential.”_ _

__Frowning, Alistair grasped Eggsy’s shoulders. “Eggsy. Oh, no. No. It has nothing to do with deserving or not. You’re a wonderful man in every way that counts. I don’t doubt you’re a skilled dominant in things you’ve put your hand to. But ultimately, they’ll be looking for a Master. And you have to work with them. For them, in Harry’s case. And he’s just recently returned from the dead, as you very well know. Time. You need time, and so do they. I’m willing to mentor you, and I know several other people from this club in particular that would be good for you to get to know, as well.”_ _

__“Ali, I’m gonna hug ya now if ya don’t mind, because otherwise everybody in this club is gonna see me cry,” Eggsy muttered._ _

__He said nothing, just slid his arms around Eggsy’s back and pulled him in. “You’re a good man, Eggsy. You deserve to know it.”_ _


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at Merlin's. Will it go as awkwardly as Eggsy fears?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I warned you, slow slow slow writer. I've also had a busy summer. Thank you for still sticking with me and I hope you enjoy this update.

Eggsy stayed at Intrigue for another hour or so after the demo, letting Alistair introduce him around. He was pretty sure he was gonna go ahead and become a full member; people had been really welcoming and he liked the feel of the club. He made his excuses when Harry and Merlin came to join Alistair; he had a lot to think about and it weren’t going to do him any good trying to parse everything in an environment with so many distractions. Besides, he had ta get all the way back to the estate, and even with the bullet train, it were gonna take a bit. 

By the time he got to bed, he was well knackered. 

It had been an emotional evening and not what he was expecting at all, but Eggsy couldn’t bring himself to be sorry for how it had all shaken out. He seemed to be having a lot of emotional evenings lately. Even two nights ago when he’d got back from Kentucky and was feeling a bit shite due to the way he’d just walked off the plane was more melancholy than anything; last night at his mum’s was good emotional, and tonight had been... promising? Tentatively promising, at least. 

Tomorrow, well. Dinner at Merlin’s. It was going to be something, all right. Especially in light of everything at the club. Mostly, Eggsy just wanted to know why Merlin had never mentioned his relationship to Harry and let Eggsy natter on to him about Harry and how much Eggsy missed him. 

He dozed off while still thinking up possible scenarios, each more outlandish than the last. 

Eggsy spent the next day meandering around the estate, doing nothing in particular. He stopped in at the kennels for a bit and helped exercise some of the dogs, ran through the parkour course twice, and after that, Roxy showed up and joined him for a leisurely swim. Alright, so he had some nervous energy to burn. And things to think about. Staying active served both purposes, yeah? Move about, let his mind wander. All good. 

Of course, that was assuming he could get anything past Roxy. 

“Sooooooo. Uncle Ali told me he ran into you last night.” 

Eggsy splashed her. “Yeah. Couldn’t have clued me in or anything, could ya?” 

She wrinkled her nose and splashed him back. “Think about that sentence and try again. Do you really think I have any idea what kind of clubs my uncle goes to, especially in that vein?” 

“Fair. Yeah. He were there with Merlin an’ Harry. We’ll just say nothing is what I expected, but also that’s not a bad thing at all?” Eggsy replied. “Dinner tonight is gonna be interestin’.” 

“Ooooh, that’s right. You’re having dinner at Merlin’s. What are you wearing?” 

“Hadn’t thought about it. I mean, Merlin probably ain’t expecting me to show up in a suit. It ain’t a date or anything, just dinner.”

Roxy hummed. “You’d like it to be a date, though.” 

“Sure I would, but it ain’t - so I’ll probably just wear smart casual,” he replied, glancing up at the large clock on the pool wall. “I better go an’ get ready. Expect I’ll text ya later and let ya know how it went, unless yer stayin’ at HQ.” 

“I have plans with Uncle Ali so I probably won’t be back here tonight. Have a good time. Seriously. You and Merlin are friends, at least. Don’t get all weird and awkward.” 

Easier said than done, Eggsy thought, giving Roxy a last wave as he hauled himself up and out of the pool. 

He hadn’t been worried about what to wear until Roxy had said something. Maybe those new jeans he’d picked up before he’d gone on that last mission and a jumper? It was Merlin, though. He could show up in trackies and a snapback, and it would still be okay. It weren’t like Merlin didn’t know him. Still, he didn’t have much of a social life lately. Might as well take advantage of the opportunity to wear something a little nicer. 

After a shower that he sorely needed after his day of physical exertion, he stood in front of his closet at the estate and realized everything he wanted to wear was still at the mews house. Tomorrow he’d go over and get started on clearing out his things - for now, the jeans he wore last night and his second-favorite jumper would do. His phone buzzed with a message as he sat down to put his shoes on - Merlin, with the address of his place. A flat in a high rise in the City, from what the map told him. Eggsy had no idea what to expect from that. Could be sleek and modern or really cosy. He was, however, reasonably sure it wouldn’t be the cluttered, fussy, bric-a-brac stuffed monstrosity that Harry’s house was. Definitely would not be a stuffed dog in the loo. 

 

An hour later, Eggsy was being enthusiastically greeted by a small, black, extremely loud cat as he tried to come in the door of Merlin’s flat. 

“Kelpie! Get out of the way, let Eggsy come in. Daft cat,” Merlin scolded, reaching down to scoop the cat into his arms. She continued her persistent meowing, angling her entire body away from Merlin and toward Eggsy. 

Eggsy stepped in and closed the door, laughing. “Didn’t realize there’d be such an enthusiastic welcoming committee. Hello, Kelpie. Practically a puppy, ain’t ya?”

“Aye, she’s the worst,” Merlin replied with great affection, finally letting the cat get down. “Just nudge her out of the way if she gets to be too annoying,” he advised. “I thought we’d eat in the kitchen - no need to fuss with the dining room.” 

“Sounds fine to me. It smells great. Curry?” 

“Lamb vindaloo. The naan’s from a package, though. Can’t get it right without a tandoor,” Merlin confirmed, indicating Eggsy should follow him through to the kitchen. 

Kelpie trailed in their wake, inquisitive meows and all. As soon as Eggsy settled onto one of the stools at the kitchen island, she made herself at home on his lap, nudging her head into his hand. “Never told me ya had a cat, Merlin - but ya never told me a lot of things,” he said, lightly, scritching Kelpie behind the ears. 

Merlin sighed, setting two full plates on the island along with a basket of naan. “Aye, lad. I know. Yeh deserved better than the half-truths and that’s why I asked yeh here tonight. Something to drink? I’ve lager and wine in, or cola.” 

“Just a cola, thanks,” Eggsy replied, shooing Kelpie from his lap. 

They ate in silence for a few moments, but for Eggsy’s compliments on the food and Merlin’s quiet thanks. Eggsy were happy to note that it weren’t an awkward silence and he still felt really comfortable around Merlin, which were promising, especially for the talk they needed to have. 

“I hate Harry’s house,” Merlin finally said, setting down his fork. “I absolutely despise the decor and his fucking stuffed dog and the butterflies. But I love him, so I’d stay there often. Which he knew, so there was no question over him leaving it to me. I didn't want the fucking monstrosity. Before yeh came along, it was to be left to Kingsman to do as they liked with it. Yer welcome to it.” 

That explanation caught Eggsy off-guard, didn’t it, and he giggled before he could stop himself. “Alright, yeah, that’s fair,” he agreed. “Seein’ your place tonight that makes a lot of sense, yeah? More clean lines, less clutter, but still homely.” 

“Aye. He changed his will before he left for Kentucky. As in, right before he got on the plane. His solicitor met him at the shop. I don’t know if he suspected something might happen, or just wanted to be sure he didn’t forget. He was angry with yeh, no doubt, but he didn’t hate yeh,” Merlin explained, still looking more at his plate than at Eggsy. 

“He said as much when I went to meet him,” Eggsy acknowledged. “But Merlin... Hamish. Why did ya let me keep goin’ on about him for so long without tellin’ me the two of ya were married? I felt like a right idiot when Harry asked if you’d been staying at his and I said I hoped I weren’t taking up yer room, since I were sleeping in the guest bedroom.” 

At that, Merlin glanced over, then looked down at his lap with a huge sigh. “Because I’m selfish, Eggsy. Not one other person was willing to talk to me about Harry, about his good and bad sides, about his humanity. Everyone else was too concerned, too cautious of offending me, as a surviving spouse, to let me really talk about him or tell stories that didn’t paint him in the best light. 

Yeh were willing to hear anything I wanted to say about him, any stories I had to tell. Good, bad, ugly. And it didn’t bother me that yeh very obviously had fancied him - still do, I’m certain - because he had been just as gone on yeh. Yeh not knowing we were anything but friends kept yeh from being needlessly polite. I needed the opportunity to just talk about everything pertaining to him, to be able to process my grief, and yeh offered it. 

Fer that, I owe yeh an apology. I kept meaning to tell yeh, but the way yer eyes lit up when I told yeh about his more ridiculous mission exploits and anything else was what I needed. It may not have been what yeh needed, and I should nae have treated yeh like a free therapist.” 

Eggsy tamped down his first instinct, which was to react to Merlin’s claim that Harry fancied him. Time and place, yeah? Time and place. “First, thank you for the apology. I appreciate it, because I hate things bein’ weird between us. Feel like I owe ya an apology too, for the way I acted when we got back, skulking off the plane like a kicked puppy. As for the rest? I needed to talk about him, too. I loved hearin’ all yer stories an’ it really helped me work through my grief as well. Now that I know the reason? I get it. We’re good. Swear down.” 

Merlin looked so relieved at Eggsy’s assurance that it seemed like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Eggsy felt the same way. Whatever happened in the future, right now, him an’ Merlin was friends, and that were the important thing.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner at Merlin's, continued.

After they finished dinner and Eggsy helped Merlin clear everything away and tidy the kitchen, they retired to the lounge. He really liked the spaces in the flat that he’d seen, the kitchen was clean and modern, and the lounge was more of the same, but the furniture was real cozy. Merlin put a glass of very nice scotch in Eggsy’s hand and sat at the other end of the sofa from him. Kelpie came out of nowhere like a little black blur and planted herself in Merlin’s lap, her purring audible. 

“I suppose ye would like to talk about last night, aye?” he asked, turning his torso some so he was facing Eggsy. 

“If ya don’t mind, yeah? I dunno if it were a coincidence or serendipity, like,” Eggsy replied, mirroring Merlin’s position. “I wouldn’t never have guessed that you an’ Harry was subs. I really liked the suspension demo. Ya looked amazing all tied up, if that’s okay ta say.” 

Merlin nodded, a shy smile on his lips. “Aye, it’s fine. Alistair and I have been scene partners for a long time. Before James was killed, he often topped for Harry. It’s not easy being in a sub/sub marriage - it’s much easier for Harry to indulge in some of what he enjoys than it is for me between the two of us.”

“Because he likes service,” Eggsy said. “I bet he does a great job taking care of ya, considering how often I ended up bringing ya lunch and getting ya ta actually eat it. Ya get buried in your work and forget ta take breaks. Bet he reminded ya all the time. He seemed surprised I didn’t have anybody takin’ care of me at home, but he even fell into it some, ordering dinner and making sure I had everything I needed. It was nice.” 

“He does take good care of me, although he’d prefer to do so on his knees. For me, it’s always been harder. I like pain and a lot of it. Alistair is skilled and knows how to press all my buttons, but it’s never been anything other than service topping for him,” Merlin said. “For a while about ten years ago, Harry and I tried to find a dom who had diverse enough interests to satisfy us both. It didn’t work well. The doms that enjoyed inflicting pain weren’t interested what Harry had to offer, and the ones who enjoyed service couldn’t or wouldn’t beat me. We gave up after a while. Sessions with James and Alistair or some other select dominants from Intrigue have been it.” 

That sounded perfectly awful to Eggsy. Who wouldn’t want to figure out how to be the dom that both Merin and Harry needed? Had they _seen_ the two of them? He knew his interests were diverse enough to enjoy both their styles. He wanted to learn how to take each of them apart and put them back together, learn what they liked, what would make them beg and plead. Maybe he really could be the dom they needed and wanted. Alistair seemed ta think Eggsy had a lot of potential. 

“Ta be honest, that has ta suck,” he said, frankly, and took a drink of his scotch. “All of that sounds amazin’ ta me.” 

“Aye, I’d agree with that assessment,” Merlin replied wryly, raising his glass in a mock toast. “In all seriousness, Eggsy -- yer forgiveness and understanding of how I’ve acted the past few months is generous and kind. You’re a good man, and I’m proud to have yeh in my life.” 

Once again, Eggsy wondered if he was in a coma and dreaming. He looked down at his glass and swirled the liquid in it, watching how it moved in the light before looking back over at Merlin. “That means a lot ta me, Hamish. Ya know how I grew up, what I had ta deal with. Callin’ in my favor really did change my life. I dunno where I’d be now if I hadn’t. Jail, maybe. Or dead in the V-Day violence. I guess what I’m tryin ta say is that I’m glad yer in my life, too. You and Harry. I’m still givin’ him his house back, though. I know ya don’t want all his tchotchkes clutterin’ up yer nice modern style flat.” 

Merlin snorted. “Thank yeh for that.” 

“Ali called it London’s largest butterfly mausoleum,” Eggsy added, and giggled. 

“It’s fucking true. And his arsehole stuffed dog. He was a little shit when he was alive, he deserves to be in the loo,” Merlin muttered. 

“Considerin’ Ali said the same thing, I’m gonna take that as the truth about ‘im,” Eggsy replied. “Anyway, I think I’m gonna become a full member at the club. Everybody were real welcoming and it seems like a place to learn from good examples.” 

“I’ll look forward to seeing yeh there,” Merlin said, softly, not quite making eye contact. “Or if yeh want some tying experience, I wouldn’t mind having Alistair teach you using me as a model. Or if yeh want to learn some flogging techniques. Plenty of willing bottoms at Intrigue, though, so yeh don’t have to -” 

“I’d like that,” Eggsy interjected, holding out a hand to forestall Merlin’s disclaimer, which Kelpie took as a plea for affection and leapt from Merlin’s lap to butt her head up under his hand. “Thank you, Hamish. I don’t have all the experience I’d like, and that would be aces. And thank you, Kelpie, for the ringing endorsement.” 

Eggsy would swear he could see the tiniest hint of a blush on Merlin’s cheeks and the tips of his ears, but that were probably just his imagination. But maybe not. 

Merlin cleared his throat. “Tell me about the houses yeh looked at yesterday?” 

He knew a change of topic when he heard one. “Saw a few, but I’m leanin’ toward the one in Ali’s mews. It’s close ta my mum and sister and near Roxy, too. Nice walk from the shop in good weather. Got plenty of space for a guest room and office, plus a room for Dais’ if she wants one. Nice finished basement, got some interestin’ ideas about what ta do with that.” 

 

The rest of the evening passed in chatting about safe topics. Eggsy had missed talking to Merlin even in the couple of days since he’d brought Harry back. It was good to be on easy terms again. 

Eggsy headed to Harry’s when he left to start packing the few things he’d brought there. His Sun covers first. Harry probably wouldn’t add any more of his own, now that he were Arthur. It were sad, in a way, but Eggsy had ta admit he liked knowin’ that Harry would be safe behind a desk after everything. And if he were completely honest, he hated the red in Harry’s office. He was thinking maybe blue or green for his, something a little more soothing. It occurred to him that he probably could have had support staff do all this after he’d gotten the frames down from the wall, but it was late and he was tired. Wouldn’t do any harm to sleep here tonight with Harry visiting his mum out in the country. He left everything else to do tomorrow and went downstairs for a cuppa before turning in.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Post-dinner debrief with Roxy via text, ill-advised places to sleep, and surprises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all, I just got a new computer and it's so bloody fast and a pleasure to type on.

Chapter 8

[to Roxalot] u up still?

[to EggMuffin] of course. U think I was gonna go to bed before u telling me about dinner? 

[to Roxalot] it went really well. Merls apologized for stuff and we had a really good talk. Met his cat.

[to EggMuffiin] I’m rly glad to hear it. Now I don’t have to disown him. Wait, he has a cat?

[to Roxalot] IKR. Total relief. Did it solve anything with my crushes? NOPE. but it’s not weird anymore so... worth it? Yeah, little black loud thing. Real sweet. Attention hog.

[to EggMuffin] poor baby. So his cat is just like you? Loud, sweet, attention hog?

[to Roxalot] Oi! Woe is me etc. Stayed in town, I’m at Haz’s since he’s in the country at his mum’s

[to EggMuffin] Uncle Ali and I went to a movie and had dinner and i’m currently kicking his ass at scrabble

[to Roxalot] good girl. I’ll talk to ya later, get back to your game

[to EggMuffin] /best/ girl. Love u. 

[to Roxalot] love u too

 

Egssy set his phone on the side table and curled up with his tea, half-watching the sitcom reruns he’d turned on. He did like Harry’s sofa, even if the rest of the house were too much. He finished his tea and told himself he’d get up and go to bed in a minute. The sofa was so cozy, though, and there were a throw blanket right there and all. He was gonna have to ask Haz where he got the sofa so he could find one for his new place. Yeah. He’d ask him when he came back from his mum’s. 

 

The next thing he knew, someone was shaking him awake. “Eggsy?” 

“Mmmyeah?” Eggsy muttered, still half-asleep, one eye open. 

Harry was crouched by his head. He smiled, shaking his head. “It’s not that I mind that you’re sleeping on my sofa, dear boy, it just can’t be very comfortable for you. That, and I almost thought someone had broken in.”

“Oh. Fuck, Haz. M’sorry. I was packin’ up my stuff, Merlin said you was gonna be at your mum’s for a few days,” Eggsy explained, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. 

“I overestimated my capacity for dealing with her overbearing nature,” Harry said wryly. “I may have waited until she went to bed and escaped. I left a note, lest you think I’m completely heartless. Did you and Hamish have a nice dinner?” 

Eggsy nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, it was good. He's a great cook, kinda didn't expect that. Talked some stuff out. Met his cat and all. Thought I’d pack some stuff up and sleep here. I can go, though. I don’t mean ta be a bother.”

“Gary Lee Unwin, if you say another word about being a bother I _will_ send you on your way,” Harry said, tutting at him. He stood and held his hand out for Eggsy’s. “You’re the furthest thing from a bother. More like a pleasant surprise. Come along, you’ll sleep much better in bed than you will on the sofa.” 

The look of fond exasperation on Harry’s face as he stood there with his hand out made Eggsy’s resolve to keep his distance until everything got back on an even keel start to crumble. He didn’t need to take Harry’s hand, but he did anyway, let Harry steady him as he got up from the sofa, still sleepy. Harry didn’t let go as he led Eggsy up the stairs and down the hall to the guest room. 

“Sleep well, Eggsy,” he murmured, letting go of his hand. “Will you allow me to make you breakfast in the morning? I assure you, it's no hardship nor going out of my way.” 

He should say no. Say that he had plans. Needed to go for a run. Pack some more. Anything. Anything, really. But Eggsy was tired. Heartsore, a bit, still. And what Harry had said back in Louisville was true - Eggsy didn’t have anyone taking care of him. What were the harm in letting Harry do that a bit? But he knew the harm in it. He knew how fast he could go from detached and patient and taking his time to letting himself fall hard and fast. 

Harry was still waiting for an answer. 

“Yeah, thanks. I’d like that.” 

“Not too early. I would like a decent night’s sleep first.” 

Smiling, Eggsy nodded. “Me too, Haz. Sweet dreams, yeah?” He opened the guest room door and slipped inside, taking one last look at Harry before he closed the door. 

Fuck. 

He sat down on the edge of the bed, covering his face with his hands. This were worth not rushing. He deserved what patience and moving slowly would bring. Harry and Merlin did, too. It didn’t need to be any different than their breakfast after the train task - just more equitable, like, ‘cos Eggsy were a full-fledged Kingsman in his own right, now.

And although he could fully admit that while he were a sadist when it came to the physical, well. Emotional were another story, yeah? Maybe it were time to actually go to therapy for that emotionally masochistic streak before it got him into trouble. Well. Too much trouble. 

He got into some trackies and laid in bed for a while, listening to the faint sounds of Harry moving around the bathroom and other bedroom. That was why he mostly slept at the manor - there were always somebody else in residence so the agents’ wing was never completely silent. Quiet, yeah, but not eerie quiet. It had taken him some time during the candidate trials to get used to sleeping without the noise of the city and the estates, but having the others there helped. When he was at Harry’s by himself it was just too quiet. 

Thinkin’ about Harry led him to thinkin’ about breakfast, and Harry in that fuckin’ pinstripe bespoke apron, an’ then his mind wandered right to Harry wearing nothin’ underneath that apron, didn't it? His cock were definitely interestested in the concept. He shoved his trackies and pants down and blindly reached into the side table drawer for the lube. He’d tossed off in the shower the other morning as much out of habit as anything, but nothing since. Dinner with Merlin, the surprise of Harry showing up, an’ the prospect of breakfast had him more than ready to go. Normally he might tease himself a bit, draw it out some. Right now it felt like a stroke or two would do it. Maybe not quite that quick, but as he wrapped his slick hand around his dick, he had to bite his lip to keep himself from groaning at how fuckin’ good it felt. 

Harry in nothin’ but that apron turned out to be a fuckin’ fantastic visual. Harry on his knees at Eggsy’s feet in that apron after serving him breakfast were even a better one. He wondered if Harry would let Eggsy hand-feed him while he were down there. Kinda surprised himself with that thought, hadn’t ever considered doin’ that before but it were hot as fuck. It didn't take long after that, a few more long, firm pulls with his thumb rubbing over the head of his dick and he was gone, spilling over his fingers and hoping he didn’t moan as loudly as the thought he did, fuck. 

He lay there for a minute or so, catching his breath before cleaning himself up a little with some tissues and wriggling back into his pants. He had no trouble falling asleep again after that. He just had to not act like a complete fuckin’ pervert at breakfast. He could handle that. He were a fuckin’ grownup, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired probably close to a year ago with a Tumblr post from Insanereddragon. I'm the world's slowest writer but I'm going to do my best to stick to a twice-monthly update schedule in between working on fest fics! 
> 
> Please come visit me on Tumblr at foxy-voxy and yell at me about your headcanons, rarepairs, and how much of a little shit everyone is. :D


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